~Shark In The Water~

Ugh...same person as normal, "M", could possibly be the most annoying person on the planet...just gonna throw that out there. She keeps bitching and just like..shut the fuck up already. Nobody cares alright?! Even your two "best" friends talk shit about you with the rest of us. :)

Oh and me and a couple people are planning a hopefully, will-be, awesome surprise and it's going to be AMAZING...but I can't spill any details now, so yeah...you'll find out soon enough...or will you?!?!

...Nah you will

~Long Time No See~

I never update this, but I needed a place to say this where I know for a fact that the people that read this won't judge me or anything, and they can totally ask me questions alright?

...I feel like...no matter what I do, I'll never get over him and that kinda scares me. I feel like no matter what I do, I'll always want his approval and I shouldn't care, and I haven't, but I haven't seen him in almost 3 months, and we won't have any classes or lunches together...but I'm just scared of what's going to happen when I see him. Because now I kinda might like this other guy, who's actually a decent human being, and not a complete toolbag like the last guy...but it's not the same...I don't want it as badly you know? I don't want to compare people to something that never was, but it definitely seems like that's what's going to happen, and it just makes me feel like a bad person, like I don't deserve for anybody to care about me because I don't know how to completely get over this guy, because I thought that I was done, but now I'm nervous and stuff and it's just freaking me out because I thought that this was over/finished forever... I'm so stupid for even thinking about him; freaking douchebag. UGH! This is so...bad; completely terrible. I'm even avoiding the place that he works because I don't want to see him there, because we used to flirt there and DAMN IT. He's permanently screwed me over I think. He just HAD to go and lie and say that he didn't like me, but if he would've just not been arrogant he would've known that I didn't want to date him. Of course iTunes now hates me as well apparently because "Crush" just came on...fantastic. Thanks for mocking me inanimate object from hell. The new guy...something could probably happen, but I'm scared of it ending like the last time...I really can't deal with that again. I mean I lost the first guy completely; we haven't even talked since that day, so we're definitely not even close to being friends again. A part of me wants me to get the new guy, if nothing else than to just see if it'd make guy 1 jealous...it's messed up I know. The new guy told me that if my ex kept texting me that he'd call him and say that we're together and that he needed to leave me alone...is it wrong that that actually made me feel a little bit better? I think that we'd be good together, but I definitely can't be the one to make the first move. He flirted a few times today, and it was awesome haha. So...hopefully something might happen...I don't know. I think two months was long enough for a boy break :)