One Year Later

OMG i can't believe its been almost a year since i last posted here...sorry i've ignored you my dear.

~POST # AWESOME~

hahahahaha this is post #69. Sorry I'm so immature.

I really don't have much to say. I'm very on and off with my boyfriend. We're currently off, but on good terms. People are saying shit about my friend on formspring and it's really fucked up so they should stop.

~Now We're Gettin' Serious~

Ugh! I seriously am starting to think that I'm the only 16 year old girl who DOESN'T want a relationship, and yet I'm the one that keeps getting freaking asked out! What the crap is this okay?! I just want to have fun, nothing serious, but no. Apparently when everything is going perfectly, I was so happy with the in-between, he has to go and make out with me at Tropical Smoothie and wrap his arms around me and then I come home to a relationship request on Facebook. Everyone is so damn needy and you know what? I want to be able to flirt and not worry that someone is going to run to my boyfriend and tell him that I was flirting with guys in class and stuff, because that's what I do; I'm a major flirt, and I love it. No strings, no nothing. But then somebody has to go and try and claim me or some shit...freaking ridiculous. I don't know what the fuck to do. As of now, it's staying unanswered.

~2nd Day~

So...I saw "him" today and guess what? I felt NOTHING! I was expecting to feel something you know? But nope; not even a thought of how cute he is or anything. It was AWESOME! Then yesterday the ex from hell wouldn't leave me alone, even though he has a girlfriend now that goes to Dominion apparently. Whatever. They're called "exes" for a reason. So with the new guy, who I have yet to think of a codename for, doesn't have any classes with me, so I might have to think of a new plan yeah? I completely forgot that when we hung out we took pictures, so there's a picture of him on my phone that I didn't know was there hahaha. So now I have to think of a way to get his attention and all that crap. I've never had to try before, but I'm always up for a challenge.

~Really? Seriously?~

You know what it's like not being able to talk to one of your best friends; someone who you would always go to for advice and things and they could always make you laugh or whatever? Well apparently I can't be best friends with him anymore because apparently he told his girlfriend (who I'm also friends with) that he used to like me, and so she's jealous or something and basically, I haven't actually talked to him in months and it's just like...He was always super easy to talk to about ANYTHING and just the fact that after all of these years he's picking his girlfriend over me is just annoying. We've always been just friends, and we'll always be best friends. His girlfriend could've just come and asked me about it and everything would've been cleared up, but that would've been too easy now wouldn't it have? I just miss having him around... He would always listen and of course just had to give me his opinion no matter what I said, but I need someone like that around, and he filled that role for so long that I don't know what to do without having that in my life. I probably sound pathetic and whiny or whatever, but I just really want him back as a best friend; a guy to talk to without having any pressure to measure up to some high standard because you want him to like you; a guy who just likes you for you, flaws and all, and is willing to call you out on them...

Obviously, I have major guy issues in my life...

January: broke up with a clinger after 3 weeks

May: broke up with another clinger after 1 week

June: got my heart stomped on by someone who I'd been growing to like since November

and then towards the end of school: lost a best friend because of a jealous girlfriend

...Can we just go back to freshman year and start over again? Please?