~What to Do, What to Do?~

So...skipping out on homecoming? Good idea. Tons of people are sick and guess who's not? Me! Anyways, this weekend sucked no matter what. There was no avoiding it, but I suppose that it could've been worse. I found out that about 5 other people like Poptart. That kinda pisses me off because for some reason I've convinced myself that he will never like me and that he's going to date some blonde whore who gives it up within the first week. I wish that I could convince myself to talk to him so that we can at least be friends. I'd rather be friends with him, I think, then nothing at all. I'd really like to be more than that, but I'd settle. He's the only person that I can't seem to gather enough confidence to talk to. I've made new friends this year, and all of them by me initiating the talking in the first place. Why must I doubt myself over him? This shouldn't be so difficult. I should just go up to him and start talking. I think I'm just scared of looking retarded and the fear that he won't even like me as a person. Maybe it's stupid to think this way...but maybe it's not, and that's what's worrying me. I've made the decision that I need to talk to him in person by Christmas, hopefully way before then. I'd like to have the deadline at Halloween, but we'll see.

xoxo Marie the Dreamer

~Skipping Out on Homecoming~

I ultimately decided not to go to homecoming this year. If I can avoid all of this weekend's drama personally, I'll be extremely happy.

I wish you could just pick who you like. That it didn't have to be this ridiculous game that we all play when nobody really knows if someone likes them until they ask them out. That's not fun; that's crap. If people were just straightfoward, which will never happen, then there would be so much less drama. All anybody does is bitch about crushes and how they don't like them back and how much their life sucks and blah blah blah. I happen to like my life, crushes or not. Just because I like someone now doesn't mean that the world revolves around them. Like seriously, I barely know the guy. It's so strange, but oh well. I've tried and failed at not liking him. I wish that we could be at least friends though, but I'd rather not...it's complicated. God this sucks majorly. I'm practically invisible. I doubt half of my grade even knows my name... I need to make a name for myself. People need to know who I am, without me being a complete whore with the populars.

xoxo Marie the Dreamer

~Bahhh~

You ever feel like there's no point in liking a guy; like they'll never like you back...but you can't help but like them? That's what I'm dealing with. I doubt he even knows my name. Oh well. I hate this. I've had my phone off for two hours just to avoid hearing my friends. It's helping so far.

xoxo Marie the Dreamer

~If you're from Africa, why are you white?~

Hm....what's happened recently.....this week is Homecoming Week. Our hallway sucks, and that's the nice way of putting it. The seniors and juniors are dominating us. The freshmen are only doing well because the teachers are helping them majorly. I don't even see the point in helping out with the sophomore hallway anymore. There was a random freshman staring at me today. He was just....freaking weird. Is it wrong that I'm ready for this week to be over with? I only look forward to A days at this point. B days suck epically. I don't even know why I hate B days. There's no one reason. I think it's just the entire day as a whole. I really should be doing my English homework....I don't feel like it right now though. Btw: Are Pop Tarts really that good? ;)

xoxo Marie the Dreamer

~They Call Them Crushes for a Reason~

Thank god for no AP homework!!

Anyway, I'm having a problem. I can't seem to talk to this guy that I like. I feel like if I talk to him, he'll think I'm really weird and then he won't even want to be my friend. Guys are way too confusing. It's such crap. Like they'll sit there and smile and flirt and stuff, but then they don't like you. Like what the hell? Make it obvious if you like us or not so that we don't doubt ourselves and feel like idiots for liking someone. Like the person that I like, I highly doubt that I have a chance with him. He's too....I don't know. My friends hate that I like him though and they sit there telling me that he's not worth it and blah blah blah. I don't know why I like him when all these negatives are in my face all of the time. It's all so confusing and lame. Boys=complicated emotions

xoxo Marie the Dreamer

~Resolutions are Good~

So me and M are chill again. I'm so glad that everything's settled. This boy situation is bothering me, but hopefully it'll figure itself out soon. It's a short post today.

xoxo Marie the Dreamer