~What to Do, What to Do?~

So...skipping out on homecoming? Good idea. Tons of people are sick and guess who's not? Me! Anyways, this weekend sucked no matter what. There was no avoiding it, but I suppose that it could've been worse. I found out that about 5 other people like Poptart. That kinda pisses me off because for some reason I've convinced myself that he will never like me and that he's going to date some blonde whore who gives it up within the first week. I wish that I could convince myself to talk to him so that we can at least be friends. I'd rather be friends with him, I think, then nothing at all. I'd really like to be more than that, but I'd settle. He's the only person that I can't seem to gather enough confidence to talk to. I've made new friends this year, and all of them by me initiating the talking in the first place. Why must I doubt myself over him? This shouldn't be so difficult. I should just go up to him and start talking. I think I'm just scared of looking retarded and the fear that he won't even like me as a person. Maybe it's stupid to think this way...but maybe it's not, and that's what's worrying me. I've made the decision that I need to talk to him in person by Christmas, hopefully way before then. I'd like to have the deadline at Halloween, but we'll see.

xoxo Marie the Dreamer